The underlying message in today’s title is: Be Yourself. Unless you’re an ego maniac, you see people every day who you admire and wish you were more like. Some of that is likely achievable, but not necessarily all of it. No one can be great at everything. We are all products of our own personalities and inherent characteristics. Instead of beating yourself up for not being more like those people you admire or avoiding them because you feel so inadequate, focus on the things that make you special. Just because you are not the same as everyone you admire, you can be just as admirable.
However, if you want to happily thrive, you need to be your best self. As admirable as you might inherently be, it doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement. We all want to be loved by some, liked by most, and to be successful (by our own standards). That requires successfully engaging with others which, quite frankly, requires being someone with whom others like to engage.
How do you balance being yourself with improving yourself? Think of yourself as though you are a diamond. Diamonds don’t look nearly as good in the mine as they do in the jewelry store. That's because the jewelers clean them up, polish them, and trim them to emphasize their brilliance. That is what I encourage you to do to become your best self.
I’ll use myself as an example. I’ve always admired poised people. They seem so calm and confident and in control. They know just what to say and how to say it. I am just the opposite. First of all, it is impossible for me to sit still for longer than 30 seconds. I am bouncing my knee or eating or drinking or playing with a fork or something. When it comes to conversation, I am alternately expressive (talking with my hands) and at a loss for words. On the positive side (my diamond), I’m energetic, enthusiastic, empathetic and friendly. I’m never going to be poised, but I can be gracious – that is attentive and complimentary. I will never be calm, but I can channel my energy into being helpful or at least less disruptive. And, I can express my enthusiasm, which is part of my charm.
See what I mean? The trick is to figure out who you are and what your assets are, and then build on your strengths. This isn’t just about social situations, either. It is also important to apply this to the jobs you choose, the way you organize your home and office, and the way you manage your day-to-day activities.
This will make your life so much easier because you will be doing things in ways that are more natural for you. Besides that, just recognizing that you are, in fact, diamond-quality feels really good! It helps you to relax a bit, feel more confident, and enjoy life a lot more.
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