It is practically impossible to feel good about life when you don’t feel good about yourself. And, it is very difficult to feel good about yourself if you’ve got someone dissing you all the time—especially if that someone is YOU! Yes, it is true; we are often our own worst critic.
Think about it. Most of us have learned (hopefully) the damage that can be done by calling a child “ugly” or “fat” or “stupid.” Yet how many of us call ourselves those very same names?
Don’t do that to yourself! People, including you, respond much better to positive reinforcement than criticism.
Resolve today to stop calling yourself disparaging names, including the more subtle ones like “lazy,” “klutz,” “dork,” “selfish,” etc. If you find yourself about to do that, stop and ask yourself why you deserve this label. Chances are that you just did something that you think fits this description. Take selfish. Were you really being selfish or just doing the best you could at the time? (There is a difference, you know.) Even if you determine that it was selfish, it doesn’t mean that you are selfish. You’ve probably done a million unselfish things during the course of your life. Don’t allow this one thing—or the others that usually come up when you think about it—to define you. Even if you can’t talk yourself out of feeling bad about the action, try rephrasing your self-talk to focus on the action. That is, instead of saying “I am selfish,” say “That was a selfish thing to do.” That is much less damaging to your self-image.
Along these same lines, don’t be so hard on yourself when you make a mistake. I know; you probably think you are supposed to be better than that. The truth is, everyone makes mistakes. Whenever you make one, try to correct it if you can, resolve to learn from it, and move on.
Too many of us also discount all of the generous, competent, and kind things we do; as if those things shouldn’t matter because they are the norm. They do matter! In fact, they should matter more if they are the norm, since that means that we are normally generous, competent, and kind! Start paying attention to the many things that you do right every day and give yourself credit for them. This positive reinforcement will not only help you to feel better about yourself, it will also make it easier for you to do more good things.
Σχόλια